Some funny adult jokes (18+)

There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box.
The Female pencil got pregnant !!

Which Male pencil is responsible?


THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER.



Woman in bed with husband's best friend, phone rings! "YES".. OK, BYE".
She turns to her lover and says,

THAT'S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU.



Three Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay.

Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!!

Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo !!!

Gay : any-cock-will dooo !!!



Three Guys were introduced to a girl.

Hi,.... I'm Peter, not a saint.

I'm Paul not a POPE.

I'm John not a Baptist...

The girl replied.. Hi.. I'm Mary, not a VIRGIN.



Girlfriends are appetizers. Tastes good at any time.

Mistresses are Tomyam.. Hot and spicy. Eaten frequently.

WIVES are Maggie (instant noodles). Eaten when there's nothing to eat.!!!



Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts her occupation as CHICKEN FARMER.

She replied: I RAISED 5,000 COCKS LAST YEAR.!!



Yesterday's News :- A nun jogging at Jogger' Park was raped by 4 guys.

Today's News :- Nearly 100 nuns found jogging at the park.



Why do Indians talk non stop?

Guess.... Still dunno? OK.....

Answer : Because they left their full stop on their forehead.

Comments

Adult Joker said…
Laugh… Because smiling is the second best thing you can do with your mouth!

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Adult Jokes said…
So Funny Jokes. Click here : Adult Jokes for more Adult Jokes.
Jhumu Rani said…
1. Delivery ke waqt doctor ne mahila se poochha kya aap delivery ke waqt bachche ke baap ko dekhna pasand karengi?
Mahila boli:- ji nahin
Doctor:- Kyon
Mahila:- kyunki use mere pati pasand nahin karte.

2. Ek baar ek Bandar ne ek aadmi se poochha ki tum mei aur mujhme kya fark hai?
Aadmi bola:- tum daal par uchhal kood karte ho jabki main daal kar uchhal kood karta hoon.

3. Biwi apne pati se:- aaj tum mere saath kuch aisa karo ki meri cheekhein nikal jaayen!
Pati ne uski shalwaar mei aag laga di.

4. Suhag rat thi. Saas ne derwaza zor se peeta.
Dulhan bhag ker perde ke peche chhupp gayee.
Saas ke jane ke baad Husband bola:- tum dari kiyon Maa thi.
Dulhan:- Oh main samjhi chhaapa pad gaya.

5. Santa:- Yaar tujhe bus mein thappad kyun pada?
Banta:- Pata nahin yaar meri photo neeche gir gayee thi, maine kaha bahen ji zara saadi upar karna photo leni hai.

6. Pappu:- Dad pyaar, santosh aur vishwaas mein
kya fark hota hai?
Santa:- tumhari mummy mera pyaar hai, naukraanee santosh hai
aur tum mere hee bete ho ye vishwaas hai.

7. Teen ghante tak apni girl friend ko chodne ke baad Santa bola:- ab tum kuchh der mujhe dekh nahi paogee.
Girl F:- Kya huwa kaheen jaa rahe ho?
Santa:- Nahi Jaaneman, ab tum Palat Jaao.

8. What PEPSI stands for
P=Please
E=Enter
P=Penis
S=Slowly
I=Inside
ha..ha.. Ye dil mangey more.

9. Suhag raat ke baad husband ne wife se puchha
kal Suhagraat ke baad kya mehsoos kiya?
wife:- 5% sharam 5% dard aur 90% Purani Yaadein.

10. Jab tere chikoo the, sab tere pichhu the.
Jab tere aam hue, sab pareshan hue.
Jab tere kharbuje hue, bade ajube hue.
Jab tere jhool gaye, sab tujhe bhool gaye.

11. Sardar sex kar raha tha galti se Lvnd Peechhe daal diya.
Sardarni boli:- Truck galat godaam mei daal diya.
Sardar:- Ab bata rahi hai jab deisel khatam ho gaya.

12. Ek couple sex kar raha tha.
Ah.
Oh.
Ueee.
Dheere se.
Aayeee.
Mar gayeee.
Oh.
Phat gayee.
Ah.
Chal ab bas kar
1 Rs. Ke sms mei kya poori film dekhega.

13. Boy:– CHVDAAI ka mazaa dono lete hain phir ladka hi paisa kyun de?
Call girl:– Abe beokoof charge out going pe hi lagta hai incoming pe nahi.

14. Boy- Andar gaya
Girl- Haan Gaya
Boy- Dukh laga kya
Girl- Bilkul nahin
Boy- 1 baar aur
Girl- Ab isme Daalo
Boy- Achchha laga
Girl- Bahut achchha
Boy- Ok, madam ka
SANDLE pack karo.

15. Beta kya kaam karte ho?
Boy:- Ji samaj seva karta hoon.
Man:- Matlab?
Boy:- Ji bichdo ko milata hoon
Gire huye ko uthata hoon.
Man:- Wo kaise?
Boy:- BRA BANATA HOON.

16. 1 Haklaa interview dene gaya.
Boss:- Aapko tabhi kaam diya ja sakta
hai jab aap ye shabd bolenge.
Institute - obstitute And substitute.
Haklaa bola:- INKICH00T - AAPKICH00T
AUR SABKICH00T.

17. MELODY aur MAALA-D Mei kya antar hai?
Jab bachche masti
Karte hain to unhe
MELODI di jaati hai
aur jab bachche ki MAA
MASTI karti hai to
use MALA-D di Jaati hai.

18. Hindi ki class mei teacher ki Paint ki
ZIP khuli dekh LADKIYAN hansne lagi.
Master:- Zyada he he ki to
Bahar nikal kar
KHADA KAR DOONGA.

19. Agar reliance wale BRA banayenga
to slogan kya hoga?
Come on India Karlo Mumme muthi me.
Mere Papa ka hai sapna
sabke doodh par ho dhakkan apna.

20. Husband:- Ok darling
GOOD NIGHT.
Wife:- Aise kaise
GOOD NIGHT.
Pehle Band kar LIGHT
Phir LVND kar TIGHT
Dabake kar FIGHT
Jab nikal jaye WHITE
Main feel karun RIGHT
Tab hogi GOOD NIGHT.
Jhumu Rani said…
1. Delivery ke waqt doctor ne mahila se poochha kya aap delivery ke waqt bachche ke baap ko dekhna pasand karengi?
Mahila boli:- ji nahin
Doctor:- Kyon
Mahila:- kyunki use mere pati pasand nahin karte.

2. Ek baar ek Bandar ne ek aadmi se poochha ki tum mei aur mujhme kya fark hai?
Aadmi bola:- tum daal par uchhal kood karte ho jabki main daal kar uchhal kood karta hoon.

3. Biwi apne pati se:- aaj tum mere saath kuch aisa karo ki meri cheekhein nikal jaayen!
Pati ne uski shalwaar mei aag laga di.

4. Suhag rat thi. Saas ne derwaza zor se peeta.
Dulhan bhag ker perde ke peche chhupp gayee.
Saas ke jane ke baad Husband bola:- tum dari kiyon Maa thi.
Dulhan:- Oh main samjhi chhaapa pad gaya.

5. Santa:- Yaar tujhe bus mein thappad kyun pada?
Banta:- Pata nahin yaar meri photo neeche gir gayee thi, maine kaha bahen ji zara saadi upar karna photo leni hai.

6. Pappu:- Dad pyaar, santosh aur vishwaas mein
kya fark hota hai?
Santa:- tumhari mummy mera pyaar hai, naukraanee santosh hai
aur tum mere hee bete ho ye vishwaas hai.

7. Teen ghante tak apni girl friend ko chodne ke baad Santa bola:- ab tum kuchh der mujhe dekh nahi paogee.
Girl F:- Kya huwa kaheen jaa rahe ho?
Santa:- Nahi Jaaneman, ab tum Palat Jaao.

8. What PEPSI stands for
P=Please
E=Enter
P=Penis
S=Slowly
I=Inside
ha..ha.. Ye dil mangey more.

9. Suhag raat ke baad husband ne wife se puchha
kal Suhagraat ke baad kya mehsoos kiya?
wife:- 5% sharam 5% dard aur 90% Purani Yaadein.

10. Jab tere chikoo the, sab tere pichhu the.
Jab tere aam hue, sab pareshan hue.
Jab tere kharbuje hue, bade ajube hue.
Jab tere jhool gaye, sab tujhe bhool gaye.

11. Sardar sex kar raha tha galti se Lvnd Peechhe daal diya.
Sardarni boli:- Truck galat godaam mei daal diya.
Sardar:- Ab bata rahi hai jab deisel khatam ho gaya.

12. Ek couple sex kar raha tha.
Ah.
Oh.
Ueee.
Dheere se.
Aayeee.
Mar gayeee.
Oh.
Phat gayee.
Ah.
Chal ab bas kar
1 Rs. Ke sms mei kya poori film dekhega.

13. Boy:– CHVDAAI ka mazaa dono lete hain phir ladka hi paisa kyun de?
Call girl:– Abe beokoof charge out going pe hi lagta hai incoming pe nahi.

14. Boy- Andar gaya
Girl- Haan Gaya
Boy- Dukh laga kya
Girl- Bilkul nahin
Boy- 1 baar aur
Girl- Ab isme Daalo
Boy- Achchha laga
Girl- Bahut achchha
Boy- Ok, madam ka
SANDLE pack karo.

15. Beta kya kaam karte ho?
Boy:- Ji samaj seva karta hoon.
Man:- Matlab?
Boy:- Ji bichdo ko milata hoon
Gire huye ko uthata hoon.
Man:- Wo kaise?
Boy:- BRA BANATA HOON.

16. 1 Haklaa interview dene gaya.
Boss:- Aapko tabhi kaam diya ja sakta
hai jab aap ye shabd bolenge.
Institute - obstitute And substitute.
Haklaa bola:- INKICH00T - AAPKICH00T
AUR SABKICH00T.

17. MELODY aur MAALA-D Mei kya antar hai?
Jab bachche masti
Karte hain to unhe
MELODI di jaati hai
aur jab bachche ki MAA
MASTI karti hai to
use MALA-D di Jaati hai.

18. Hindi ki class mei teacher ki Paint ki
ZIP khuli dekh LADKIYAN hansne lagi.
Master:- Zyada he he ki to
Bahar nikal kar
KHADA KAR DOONGA.

19. Agar reliance wale BRA banayenga
to slogan kya hoga?
Come on India Karlo Mumme muthi me.
Mere Papa ka hai sapna
sabke doodh par ho dhakkan apna.

20. Husband:- Ok darling
GOOD NIGHT.
Wife:- Aise kaise
GOOD NIGHT.
Pehle Band kar LIGHT
Phir LVND kar TIGHT
Dabake kar FIGHT
Jab nikal jaye WHITE
Main feel karun RIGHT
Tab hogi GOOD NIGHT.
Maahi Behl said…
So funny Jokes. Visit Adult Jokes to read more jokes
Unknown said…
So Funny Collection. Waiting for some new jokes. You Can Read such fun here also : Adult

Jokes
Manish Kumar said…
So Funny Collection. Waiting for some new jokes. You Can Read such fun here also : Adult Jokes
Manish Kumar said…
So Funny Collection. Waiting for some new jokes. You Can Read such fun here also : Adult Jokes

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