Showing posts from February, 2015

Spoke too soon

I noticed that there was a rather dashy blonde in another check-out line.

Our eyes met, she raised her hand to wave, and smiled a "Hello" to me. I was rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving and, although she looked familiar; I couldn't place where I might know her from.

As luck would have it, I saw her a few minutes later in the parking lot as she was loading her groceries, so I approached her and said, "Sorry, do you know me?"

She replied, "I may be mistaken, but I think you might be the father of one of my kids."

I was rather panicked, but my mind shot back to my one and only sexual indiscretion.

"Holy crap," I exclaimed (much too loudly), "Are you that stripper from my bachelor party that I screwed on the pool table in front of all my friends, while your girlfriend whipped me with wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my butt?"

She looked up, smiled and replied, "No... I'm your son's English teacher."…